A Wandering Thought
LIFE and its experiences can be understood as either Providence or fortuity. Whether it be the mighty Hand of God or chance, no man has the power to alter his past and change his present. Therefore, wisdom arrives with the use of introspection. We cannot understand a thing until we get to the end of it. The end reveals the why. But, we are in the middle of it, and now, our response to the randomness of life dictates the quality of our lives. Do we really enjoy the life that we are living?
One emotion grows another emotion. The joyful feeling brings a sorrowful feeling and so on. The wheat’s growth brings about the weed’s growth. If I uproot the weeds in zeal, then I can stymie the whole process and damage the growth of the garden of my heart. So, I let the weeds grow with the wheat. The climactic love grows next to the parental rejection. The soberness of death grows next to the joy of eternal life. The anguish of birth grows next to the excitement of new life.
As I mentioned earlier, life is random. The garden, naturally, grows its crops how it pleases. In this season, weeds grow thrice as fast as the wheat. The weed? An inadequacy of love has grown next to the lack of appreciation.
When I say this, I doubt I really know what this entails. For, God is Love. God is the Author of emotion. He is the Creator of the feelings that stirs emotions within. How can love in my life be inadequate when I know Love Himself? Daily I drink deeply from Love. God loves me and I’ve never known a love like this. God’s love is buffet style, it ceases to flow once my hunger is no more. When I say I don’t feel love, what am I saying? It is disrespectful to overlook the Love within and about me. Possibly, the love I experience and expect from others resemble broken pieces of pottery. God blesses me with a plate, and my human companions only bring me shards that cut. Maybe what I yearn for is something God cannot tangibly express towards me. This void of emotion is a trial, a lesson, or a test given by Grace to remind me that complete, energizing nourishment is only found in Love. It’s not that I lack something, rather that I have ceased to thirst and hunger for this food. Eating other food has made me lethargic. To look outside of Him for anything drastically alters, no blurs, the picture we call life. I must never forget, there is strength in God for whatever my needs may be.
“Close, present Father, flow through me in all the ways native to me and all my parts, that, as a whole person, I may do Thy Will with such completeness that I become Thy Will. Amen.”
